Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Revise of My Essay

When I wrote my essay, I always got many problems from organizations, thesis statements and grammar mistakes. Also every time it was very hard to write perfect essay, because we always have to find many different mistakes, tried to revised all of mistakes and improve everything in essay. However this time, I got many different problems to started at first of wrote this essay, but now I think my essay completed about 70% of the essay. From now I still have to work on analysis, topic with ending sentences and grammar mistakes.
In this essay at first I got problems to start with thesis statement, so I went to extra help to revised my thesis statement. I fixed my thesis statement to change more stronger with Mrs. Guarino. Second I putted more analysis in my essay. I putted too many summaries of Me and You and Southpaw, but I did not put many analysis and did not explained about specific my opinion. Therefore I deleted some of nonsense summaries and putted more specific analysis with my opinion during both of stories. Last there were many different grammar mistakes, because I did not go over whole essay from the beginning. In addition to fixing and looking over grammar mistakes, I could not find right over my mistakes. However I read my essay again and again, so after read many times I could find my grammar mistakes and I could revise my most of grammar problem I think. In my opinion I still have many problems in my essay, so I am going to look over and go to writing center to revise my essay. Also I still don’t have many specific analysis, so I am going to ask to writing center and makes more specific analysis with my own opinions.
Despite of fixing many problems, I think I still have many problems. However in my essay there are many strong strengths about my writing and weaknesses about my writing. I think my strong strengths are good at write specific summaries and explained specific Me and You and Southpaw’s main characters. Also I think I explained their relationship very well with creativity words. However my weeknesses are grammars and analysis. Many grammar mistakes and analysis were one of my difficult problems to solved and fixed. Most of people can mistake first time, but they all have to revise and improve their essay. In addition to making perfect essay, you have to spend much time to revise essay. I am going to read over again every time and try to find many mistakes and make most improve essay.

 

Monday, February 22, 2016

What is your favorite sentence and why?


  'This means  after Olivia came to stay with Lorenzo, he showed and opened his expressions to Olivia and he was keep changing. He got many influences to Olivia's actions with outgoing personality.' I think this is my favorite sentence, because I explained about Olivia and Lorenzo that Olivia gave advice to Lorenzo and Lorenzo changed. In my opinion Olivia was one of great mentor for Lorenzo and he got influence for better life to Olivia. This sentence had many meaning and it explained very specifically.
    

Thursday, February 18, 2016

First Draft


Minseung Kim

2/19/2016

Ms. Guarino 
        
English II (IS) - 2

Influence Affect on Life

Many different people have different life and different sociality people in the world. However some of them have problems of personality and go to wrong directions that is worst for their life. In the novel Me and You and the movie Southpaw are one example of infulence affcet on life. They can be selfish and has strong mind with strong pride, but they can not know this influence affect their life a lot. In both Me and You and Southpaw, the main character Lorenzo and Bill connect with a mentor person, and this experience cause them to become less selfish more willing to help others.

First, from the novel Me and You showed main character Lorenzo's personality and his changing with Lorenzo's half sister Olivia. There was one Italian boy who's name Lorenzo. He was one of very selfish person and wanted to be alone every time. He did not like someone interrupt him. Therefore he did not has many different friends, because he really did not want to be close with anybody. However he tried to pretend has many friends to his mother, so he lied to his mother that he had to go to ski trip with his friend Alessia. Probably his mom was very strict for Lorenzo and cared about Lorenzo a lot. Also it was hard to lied his mother. However he had plan to did not go to ski trip and stayed into cellar. That was one of problem to met Olivia and stayed with Olivia in the cellar. Olivia interrupted Lorenzo for his secret ski week. He really did not want to stay with Olivia, but Olivia threaten Lorenzo about he did not go to ski trip and he hid Olivia in the cellar. Lorenzo knew that Olivia smoked, took drugs and drunk alcohol. Lorenzo knew Olivia depraved a lot. "What sort of illness did she have? What if it were contagious."(Ammaniti 99) Lorenzo did not care about anyone before he met Olivia, but Lorenzo worried Olivia about her health and conditions. This means after Olivia came to stay with Lorenzo, he showed and opened his expressions to Olivia and he was keep changing. He got many influences to Olivia's actions with outgoing personality.

At first they did not like each other "Get away. I swear to God I'm going to kill you."(Ammaniti 107) first Lorenzo did not like Olivia's personality, so he fought with Olivia. Therefore Olivia slapped Lorenzo and Lorenzo punched Olivia, but she was out of breath and she was like choking. They could not control their expressions with conversations. He really worried Olivia, so he went out for brought medicine for Olivia. It was very dangerous to went outside during hid in cellar, but he chose to go outside because Lorenzo worried Olivia a lot. He changed more because he was very selfish and did not willing to help. At the last day of hid in cellar, they had nice time and Olivia danced, but Lorenzo did not. However Olivia made Lorenzo danced. "She grabbed my hands and, looking at me with those magnetic eyes of hers, she pulled me toward her. My destiny is to be next to you, with you near me I won't be afraid, and I will be a little girl again."(Ammaniti 143) Olivia gave big brave to Lorenzo and tried to advice to change. Lorenzo danced after Olivia told this. He felt something he never felt before because of Olivia. "I felt a live-it took my breath away."(Ammaniti 144) Olivia was one of good mentor to make change Lorenzo. At the beginning, Lorenzo was very selfish and did not care about anybody, but he became less selfish and willing to help Olivia instead of thought about self.
Second, from the movie Southpaw showed main character's Billy's up and down life and Billy became very ruined because of his wife death. The main character Billy Hope was one of best boxer, so he was world champion. Billy hope and his wife Maureen grew up together in the orphanage. They were very close when they were young and Billy chose Maureen for his wife, because she always helped Billy for many different happen every time and tried to control him every time. Therefore only Maureen could control Billy hope during their life each other. Billy loved Maureen a lot, so he always conform Maureen's controling. However Maureen always worried and cheered Billy when he boxed with other people. Therefore because of Maureen’s worried and cheered, he always won every games. Nobody could not be winner because Billy always won the games. Many different players wanted to fight with Billy, because they knew that he was the best boxer with many different best and expensive sponsors.
When his wife Maureen stayed with him, he was the best boxing player in the world and could everything for her. However there were one of his rival Miguel met Billy and his wife Maureen. Billy could not control himself because Miguel was talking about his poor life with bad language. Billy started to punch him and party got mass it up. during fought with Miguel, Miguel’s bodyguard shot the gun to Maureen. Billy confused and cried out in sorrow. During his best life he lost his wife in a tragic accident. His wife Maureen died by gun shot. Billy could not believe and he could not control his mental alone, because his wife was only who could control Billy’s metal. He got really angry to Miguel, but he did not want to box anymore. Therefore he could not earn money without boxing, so became really poor and lost his all money. Also he could not stay with his daughter, because he could not protect her. This showed that without his wife, he could not do anything. Therefore instead of his wife, Billy turned to trainer Tick to help him get his daughter and get his strong mental with ability. Billy thought Tick was one of best coach he thought before. Billy wanted to change and tried to start from beginning. Coach Tick helped for Billy’s peaceful life with her daughter and helped to control himself about his wife’s death.
In both Me and You and Southpaw main character Lorenzo was one of very selfish person and wanted to be alone every time. Also he could not show expressions to other people. However he met nice mentor who was Olivia and she showed many experiences to Lorenzo and gave big brave in the story. On the other hand, in the movie Southpaw main character Billy had up and down life and Billy became very ruined because of his wife death. After this happened he lost his whole money and job. However he also met one of good mentor who was coach Tick and tried to start his life again. He could not control himself after his wife died, but Tick gave strong leadership and make Billy changed for his worst life. In both Me and You and Southpaw, the main character Lorenzo and Bill connect with a mentor person, and this experience cause them to become less selfish more willing to help others. Many people can not get good experience sometimes, and  from one of their bad experience they can lost their life. However if someone helped or give advice for mentor, life can become better and their personality can be better.  

Monday, February 15, 2016

First Body Paragraph


First, from the novel Me and You showed main character Lorenzo's personality and his changing with Lorenzo's half sister Olivia. There was one Italian boy who's name Lorenzo. He was one of very selfish person and wanted to be alone every time. He did not like someone interrupt him. Therefore he did not has many different friends, because he really did not want to be close with anybody. However he tried to pretend has many friends to his mother, so he lied to his mother that he had to go to ski trip with his friend Alessia. Probably his mom was very strict for Lorenzo and cared about Lorenzo a lot. Also it was hard to lied his mother. However he had plan to did not go to ski trip and stayed into cellar. That was one of problem to met Olivia and stayed with Olivia in the cellar. Olivia interrupted Lorenzo for his secret ski week. He really did not want to stay with Olivia, but Olivia threaten Lorenzo about he did not go to ski trip and he hid Olivia in the cellar. Lorenzo knew that Olivia smoked, took drugs and drunk alcohol. Lorenzo knew Olivia depraved a lot. "What sort of illness did she have? What if it were contagious."(Me and You, page 99) Lorenzo did not care about anyone before he met Olivia, but Lorenzo worried Olivia about her health and conditions. This means after Olivia came to stay with Lorenzo, he showed and opened his expressions to Olivia and he was keep changing. He got many influences to Olivia's actions with outgoing personality.
At first they did not like each other "Get away. I swear to God I'm going to kill you."(Me and You, page 107) first Lorenzo did not like Olivia's personality, so he fought with Olivia. Therefore Olivia slapped Lorenzo and Lorenzo punched Olivia, but she was out of breath and she was like choking. They could not control their expressions with conversations. He really worried Olivia, so he went out for brought medicine for Olivia. It was very dangerous to went outside during hid in cellar, but he chose to go outside because Lorenzo worried Olivia a lot. He changed more because he was very selfish and did not willing to help. At the last day of hid in cellar, they had nice time and Olivia danced, but Lorenzo did not. However Olivia made Lorenzo danced. "She grabbed my hands and, looking at me with those magnetic eyes of hers, she pulled me toward her. My destiny is to be next to you, with you near me I won't be afraid, and I will be a little girl again."(Me and You, page 143) Olivia gave big brave to Lorenzo and tried to advice to change. Lorenzo danced after Olivia told this. He felt something he never felt before because of Olivia. "I felt a live-it took my breath away."(Me and You, page 144) Olivia was one of good mentor to make change Lorenzo. At the beginning, Lorenzo was very selfish and did not care about anybody, but he became less selfish and willing to help Olivia instead of thought about self.

Friday, February 12, 2016

About Yubin's Thesis

The novel Me and you and the film Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, the both main characters had not hope, but they tried to find their own true love and their relationship became close with open minded.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Outline of Book and Film


Thesis statement:
In the book “Me and You” and in the film “Southpaw” explained turning points for Lorenzo’s future life and Billy’s future life. They got many influences from many relationships and they learned good and bad things from special events and they changed because of other people.


First paragraph:
Before Olivia came to Lorenzo’s cellar, Lorenzo was very alone without friendships and many relationships with other people. Lorenzo pretended to has many friends to show up to his mother. However after Olivia came to stay with Lorenzo, he showed his expressions to Olivia and he was keep changing. He got many influences to Olivia’s outgoing personality and he tried to change his actions.


Second paragraph:
In the film “Southpaw” Before Billy went to meet coach Tick, Billy was one of strongest top boxer in the world, so everybody keep challenge to become world champion and win Billy. Billy’s wife was one of Billy’s best supporter to worried Billy and controled Billy. Therefore Billy spared his wife Maureen. However Maureen killed by one of his rival Miguel’s body guard. After Maureen died, Billy could not control his mind by himself without Maureen. Therefore he lost his whole money and he had to send his daughter to children protect center, because Billy lost his job and his whole money. He lost his all of it except his relationships and friendships with many different people. However after Billy met coach Tick, he changed Billy’s personalities and his techniques for boxing. Also Tick tried to figure it out for Billy about Billy’s job and honorary for Billy and his daughter.


Third paragraph:
In the book “Me and You” relationships with other people were one of most important part in this book. Also Olivia helped Lorenzo to change his personality to help Lorenzo’s future life. Olivia wanted to give good influences to Lorenzo and find turning point to become better personality with many great relationships. Also in the film “Southpaw” coach Tick gave big helps to get better personality and many boxing techniques to become better boxer. Top boxer Billy was the best boxer in the world, but after his best supporter Maureen died, he could not control his mind, so Tick also tried to help him to control his mind by himself.


Conclusion:
-Thesis Statement
-Compare “Me and You” and “Southpaw”
-Main points of book and film
-Lessons of each story
-Learn something from stroy

Respect Snow Day

Respect Snow Day

Snow!
It makes us delight and give us relax for a day,
students feel comfortable from snowfields
everybody can enjoy with snow to make 
snowman and do sled riding.

Snow!
Jesus give us to have a rest without 
many different works.
It is very freezing and cold but 
we can enjoy with hot chocolate
to make warm day.